Page 9 - Boca ViewPointe - June '24
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June 2024                                                      Viewpointe, Page 9
      Finding Meaning In Old Age




      By Robert W. Goldfarb                              planes or cruise ships, I’m not going. Any country I visit   person’s journey deeper into old age flow onto the screen.
                                                         would unleash an assault of memories, reminding me of the   The articles I write are being published and the flood of
         As I travel deeper into my nineties, I occasionally look   time Muriel and I were there.          comments from readers reveals a hunger for company on
      back to understand how I got this far and what I must do      The path I take on this part of my journey won’t begin in   this road we are all travelling. My mind becomes quiet as I
      to go further. People who loved me set me on my path and   a travel brochure or list of prospective hobbies and volunteer   write. The shrill pierce of politics, protest and war becomes
      guided my first steps. Later, my progress was determined   opportunities. It would begin with a question. Who was the   mute. In the silence, I’ve found meaning that is giving me
      by others, some of whom barely knew me. A few diagnosed   man I had become in nearly one hundred years of life? Was   reason to go on.
      limitations in me that could have kept me a permanent   there purpose and meaning deep within that would inspire
      resident of the tenement in which I was growing up. I   my journey through the years ahead? When I asked my      Bob’s articles have appeared in The New York Times,
      remember how troubled my mother was when my first-grade   children and grandchildren their thoughts on this question,   The San Francisco Chronicle and in Next Avenue, the
      teacher told her my failure to raise my hand when I spoke   they reminded me of the stories I once wrote for them. One   publication of the Public Broadcasting Service. His book,
      in class indicated I would struggle with self control for the   of my daughters said, “You’ve grappled with loss, loneliness   “What’s Stopping Me From Getting Ahead?” was published
      rest of my life. The certainty in her voice made it sound that   and aging and have experiences to share. Maybe you’ll find   by McGraw Hill and is in five languages. 
      “lacks self control” would be permanently stamped on my   meaning in the act of writing.”
      application for jobs.                                 I wondered if my journey into old age would be of
         Thankfully, most of those I met along the road saw   seventies, eighties and beyond. I had written a book on  Dear Boca Pointe
                                                         interest to the growing number of people entering their
      promise in me and offered support and guidance when I
      needed it. Teachers passed books to me they thought I should   management  that  was  published in five  languages  by
                                                         McGraw-Hill. But, I wrote the book while in the midst of
      read. A professional boxer saw my fear of the street-fighters   a consulting career, describing only what I was doing in  Dog Owners:
      who stalked my “Little Italy” neighborhood. He began
      taking me on his morning runs and teaching me how to   my daily work. Now I would have to write not about what
      box. Soon, the toughest of the gang members became my   I was doing, but about what I was feeling. Where would      We  have  had  a  few  recent
      friends. The G.I. Bill made it possible for a boy from those   the words come from? Would my search for meaning be of
      streets to find a place in a Columbia University classroom.   interest to someone whose life bore little similarity to mine   complaints from residents
      I grew up in an America rich with possibilities. Men who   other than our age?                        who have had uncomfortable
      led companies that stood on a pinnacle reached down and      The story of the boy I was long ago and the man I am   encounters with dogs
      lifted me to a place where opportunity thrived.    today can be read in the waning strength and suppleness   off leash around
         Freud said a fortunate person has two assets, a happy   of my body and mind. I used to spring out of chairs; now I   the property. We
      marriage and fulfilling career. Two weeks off a troopship   emerge in stages. Names, words and memories once swift   are reaching out
      from Korea, I met Muriel whose embrace warmed me for   to rush to me now turn their backs. But, things began to   to our residents to
      nearly 70 years. We had just had our third child when--with   change as I sat at my computer and began typing.  remind  them  of  our
      very little money--she urged me to leave the security of a      Arthritis that made it difficult to raise my arms had   rules  concerning  keeping dogs  on  leashes and
      corporate paycheck and pension to start my own consulting   not  found  its  way  into  my  fingers.  Elusive  memories   cleaning pet litter. As a resident of Boca Pointe you
      firm.  The one  constant in my work  was  her endless   brought no confusion to the words that began pouring   must: Keep your dog on a leash. All dogs must be
      confidence and encouragement. I loved my work and was   forth. I had suffered a grievous loss, was almost suffocated   controlled on a leash by an able-bodied person, at
      not unhappy when the last of my clients--often praised in   by loneliness and was moving further into old age. But
      The Wall Street Journal--insisted “You’re not retiring until   almost everyone was enduring their own pain as they aged.   all times, whenever the dog is on property. Also, you
      I do!” He retired at 82; I was 90.                 Perhaps my anguish and its slow healing might remind   must clean up and properly dispose of pet waste when
         But, now I’m a 94-year-old widower on a road I travel   them they are not alone, that the pain can be coped with   your pet relieves itself. Knowing and abiding by our
      alone. No one is judging me or offering their support. I   and softened.                              community’s  animal-related  ordinances  will  help
      suspect this path doesn’t climb to success or pitch downward      I had no advice to offer and resisted accepting it when   make our neighborhood a better place for everyone.
      to failure. It runs straight ahead, from where I stand now to   offered to me. I do not interview scholars about their studies   Thank you! 
      wherever it is the very old go. If going there means boarding   of loss, loneliness and aging. I simply let the story of one




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