Page 18 - Boca ViewPointe - August '23

Page 18, Viewpointe August 2023
For The Caregiver

By Josette Veltri describes the physical, emotional, and psychological Alzheimer Foundations - all offering guidance on what to
impact of helping others, (webmd.com) and, Merriam- expect, understand and do. Also available are Caregiver
John Hopki ns Webster adds compassion fatigue is the physical, mental Organizations such as Today’s Fearless Caregiver offering
Community Health notes, and emotional exhaustion experienced by those who care free conferences and a newsletter with helpful tips.
a caregiver is a person for the sick or traumatized over an extended period of Caregivers can sign up at newsletters@caregiver.com or
who tends to the needs time. In simple terms, it is an extreme state of collapse contact Cathy Bird at 954-362-8126 for more information.
or concerns of a person caused by continued exposure to stressful demands 3. There are multiple roles a caregiver plays. So, slow
with short- or long-term brought about while caring for others while attempting down long enough to get real and ask honestly, what are
limitations due to illness, to live a life. my capabilities? What can I do and not do physically,
injury or disability. This Compassion fatigue takes on multiple forms and emotionally and time wise?
person includes elderly feelings, such as intense fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, 4. Caregivers need to begin a routine to express and
parents, grandparents, and despair, isolation, confusion, hopelessness, overwhelm release their emotions such as: journaling - writing out
other family members such as aunts, uncles and friends. and more. Caregivers who experience compassion fatigue emotions, developing a mindfulness practice focusing on
With that said, whether you became a caregiver by feel they are on a never ending roller coaster ride with all the here and now, establishing some form of exercise to
choice or not, learning coping strategies to manage stress its ups and downs and can’t get off. They often experience release tension and pent up stress, breathing consciously
and avoid compassion fatigue is not an option, IT IS A a sense of being trapped inside the whirlwind of a tornado - inhaling for a count of 5, holding for 3, exhaling for a
NECESSITY. spinning round and round with no end in sight. count of 6, or listening to a favorite song to help calm and
So what is compassion fatigue? It is a term that If you are relating to any of the above examples, there regulate the dis-regulated mind, body and spirit caregivers
is help. The help is creating a self-care action plan. I wish often face.
I could promise that after creating this plan caregivers

A caregiver’s mind is often filled with many concerns
Soldier, Scholar will avoid the inevitable because it won’t. But, what I can and, if left unattended, will escalate to overwhelm and
promise is having a self-care plan avoids experiencing
eventually to compassion fatigue. So, before this occurs,
compassion fatigue while caring for a loved one. commit to creating a self-care action plan and practice
By Robert W. Goldfarb A few things to keep in mind while creating a self-care the following pattern interrupt written by Reinhold
action plan are: Niebuhr in 1932 called the Serenity Prayer - God grant
I’m not surprised that more veterans apply to Columbia 1. Be authentic and stop denying the role of a caregiver me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
than any other Ivy League university after completing their is not difficult BECAUSE IT IS! It is demanding and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom
military service. Eight weeks after leaving a troopship requires a caregiver’s time, patience and compassion. to know the difference.
returning from the Korean War, I found myself in a Having a self-care action plan MUST include self-
Columbia classroom. I suspect the reasons that took me to compassion. Caregivers cannot pour compassion into Josette Veltri, a Boca Point resident, is a certified
Columbia over 70 years ago are not very different than those others without filling their cup up first. educator and coach on loss and transition. Her purpose,
of the 700 veterans now in some of those same classrooms. 2. Caregivers often experience anticipatory grief and to assist clients heal and move forward so they can go
The faculty who taught me shared the same concern for need to know their support options. That is, who and what from I Can’t to I Can, One Step at a Time. She can be
my well-being as the officers under whom I had served. is available to them. For example, there are Associations reached at josette@nextstepnewstart.com (https://www.
My professors were not distant scholars who lectured, and Foundations related to a loved one’s condition, such linkedin.com/in/josettejveltri/). 
then hurried away. They guided me, invited me to their as the American Heart Association, the Parkinson and
offices, a few times to their homes. They saw learning as
healing. They understood I was in quest of a path leading I SELL ALL AREAS Of BOCA POIntE COuntRy CLuB! I LIvE In OuR
to a world lit by learning. They took time with papers and COMMunIty & I wORk HERE!!
tests I submitted, their comments always urging me to nOw IS tHE tIME fOR tHE quICkESt SALE wItH tHE HIgHESt PROfIt!
reach higher. ExPERIEnCE ISn’t ExPEnSIvE - It’S PRICELESS!
I experienced in those quiet classrooms what I PROMEnAdE 302C SOLd!
had earlier found in a troopship noisy with 3,000 men
returning from a war. My company commander, a captain Prudence J. (PJ) Carswell
who led 200 of us, ventured into the hold of that ship to
talk with me. He was the only officer I saw who left the REALTOR EMERITUS 42 Years
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I apply to Columbia instead. He had earned his BA there
after serving in World War II. I told him I didn’t have the
grades or money to attend any school, let alone Columbia.
He persisted, saying Korean veterans were going to be
eligible for the G.I.Bill. He added that he would write a
letter about me to the office of admissions.
Still in uniform, I received an invitation to meet for an
interview with admissions officers who then invited me
to take the SAT’s that same afternoon. Ten days later, my
mother handed me a blue envelope she said came from
“Something called Columbia.” It notified me I had been A Homeowner’s Piece of Mind
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How fortunate I was that very different people in very
different places shared the same purpose, to help a young Interior & Exterior Home
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