Page 5 - The Shores of Jupiter - September '24

The Shores, Page 5
Book Review

The Official Dictionary Of The Official Dictionary of in a front page of this book – and the

Sarcasm: A Lexicon For Those Sarcasm is the work of James Chairman, Noel Botham, is listed as the
author of this book.
Napoli, executive vice president
Of Us Who Are Better And of the National Sarcasm Society. The inclusion of the word “Ultimate”
(Yes, there really is such a group!)
in the title of The Ultimate Book of
Smarter Than The Rest Of You Compact in size (6” x 7”), this Useless Information refers to the fact
that there was an earlier version, which
370-page well-crafted hardcover
And The Ultimate Book Of book is surprisingly heavy – in made it to The New York Times bestseller
Useless Information: A Few weight, not in tone. The author’s list. That’s easy to understand when you
start laughing through the 215 pages that
sarcastic humor begins on the
Thousand More Things You front cover with the notation: are arranged in 15 chapters with such
“Not Approved for Use by Stupid
headings as: There’s No Business Like;
Might Need To Know People” … and on the back cover makes his point: “You have Words of Wisdom; Food Fight; I Wanna Sex You Up; Seeing
been waiting patiently for a dictionary like this to come along.
the World; Creativity Corner … and so on – offering more than
(But Probably Don’t) And now it is here … Not that you give a crap.” 1,500 true facts which, as the author states, prove once again that
Of course, the heart of the book is in the more than 350 pages “knowledge doesn’t have to be useful to be entertaining.”
By Nils A. Shapiro of definitions, almost every one illustrated and printed in two Here is a small sampling:
You have two books colors. Here are just a few examples: • Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
for the price of one in this Power Lunch: A strategic session of manipulation and • The average person spends two weeks of their life
month’s column. And since preparation for eventual backstabbing arranged around a kissing.
you receive this newspaper pleasant noontime meal. • Giraffes have no vocal cords.
for free the following Hard Working: Conscientious behavior of the kind usually • 83 percent of people hit by lightning are men.
review is certainly worth exhibited by a sap who doesn’t understand that no one is going • When female elephants have been pregnant for more
the price. (My feeble to thank him for it. than 20 months and are still not in labor they will travel a
attempt at sarcasm.) Kosher: 1. Food that conforms to Jewish nutritional laws, hundred miles searching for the leaves of the Boraginacae
These books are perfect which were handed down by God in order that the Chosen tree – which can also induce birth in humans.
examples of my lifetime People would never experience flavor. 2. Also used as a generic • Sylvester Stallone used to sweep the lion cages in New
obsession as a bibliophile. term to imply legitimacy. “I know most people don’t sell stereo York City’s Central Park Zoo to pay his way while trying to
Books have always been my favorite source of information, equipment out of the back of a panel van, but don’t worry, it’s break into acting.
knowledge and information. Even today I seek out titles of strictly kosher.” • Although Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the United States,
interest wherever I shop, from big box supermarkets that stack Waistline: The part of the human body that we get the most it is technically number 47. Until Aug. 7, 1953, Congress forgot
books on tables to furniture stores that don’t sell books at all. obsessive about keeping trim, if only to remain desirable enough to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.
Readers of this column may remember my review of so activity occurring below it will still be a viable option. • Horses race clockwise in England and counterclockwise
Wise Trees, a lavish, oversized photo-filled “coffee-table” Contractor: A person who has the ability to make in the United States.
volume that was on display in a furniture store – not for February turn into May, May into August, August into • For religious reasons Franklin Pierce was the only president
sale but to draw attention to a high-quality sofa grouping. I November, and so on. to say, “I promise” instead of “I swear” at his inauguration.
convinced the owner to sell the book to me and it is now a ***** • Seventy percent of Swedish women claim to have
prized possession. If spreading your newfound sarcastic wit at parties and other participated in a threesome.
This month’s two books are recent additions I couldn’t resist occasions hasn’t yet made you the most popular person in your • “Well, I’ve played everything but a harp.” – Actor John
because their subject matter is just so much fun! And since I group, it turns out that there is another strange organization that Barrymore’s last words, on his deathbed.
base my selection of books to review here largely on what I might help do the trick. In 1995 a group of “thinkers, writers and Come on, lighten up. Get both of these books and share
feel you would enjoy – and would want to share with friends artists” in Britain got together to form The Useless Information them with others. You are going to need them to make it
and family – I am bringing both to your attention here. Society. Today they have 30 members – their names are listed through the rest of this election year.