Page 5 - Boca ViewPointe - August '23
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August 2023                                                     Viewpointe, Page 5
      Have You Noticed



      —Observations On The Oddities Around Us



      By William A. Gralnick                             how close to your car are the cement posts holding keypads   chance of hitting the off button on the alarm clock as you do
                                                         at car washes, storage lockers, and such thus greatly raising   the snooze button?
         An editor friend once                           the possibility of your scraping paint off the side of your car.     Aging: When someone asks you how you feel, they don’t
      said to me, “If you have eyes                         Elevators: We spend a lot of time in them, mostly going   really want the answer but the older you get when someone
      and ears, you’ll always have                       to the doctor. How many times do you press the black hard   asks you how you feel, the more you want to tell them—from
      something to write about.”                         numeral button instead of the one next to it that makes the   your top to bottom. How is it possible for so many things so far
      Here are some examples.                            elevator move? How many times do you press “G” instead of   apart on your body to hurt all at the same time? That bending
         Television: Television commercials are demeaningly   “L” because where you came from “G” meant ground floor   over is a lot easier than getting back to the upright position.
      dumb and auto insurance commercials are the dumbest.   not garage? Ever notice that your doctors are never on the   You’ve transitioned from writing yourself notes to forgetting
      Commercials that have animals talking like people and being   same floor, so you not only have to remember where they are   what the notes mean when of course you can find them. Fifty
      displayed in people poses are maybe dumber than the insurance   but what floor they are on. ‘bet you are guilty of this. I know   mph now seems plenty fast enough even though no one else
      commercials. This one drives me nuts: the hard-fought-for   I am-- people repeatedly push the elevator call button even   on the highway agrees with you. Don’t you wish that all your
      law that was passed making it illegal for commercials to be   though everyone knows once is all that is necessary.  doctor’s offices had the same prompts so that 1 or 5 meant the
      louder than the show is never enforced. And I’ll bet you didn’t      General Annoyances: when you’ve just had the car washed   same thing and thus spared you from having to listen to “our
      know there was a hard-fought-for law that mandated that the   the street sprinklers are on and how often street sprinklers   menu of options has changed” messages?
      soundtracks on commercials could not be louder than the   water cement rather than grass. Emails are like roaches,      Having experienced all of the above, I’ll close by saying
      shows they are on. Try this. Look closely and you’ll see that   they are with us forever. Then there are the teens answering   let humor get you through.
      the coffee and soda drinks actors carry that are supposed to   a question saying mean “Yeah/No/I” all in a row and how      That’s all folks—at least for now.
      make you think they’re full don’t because they are empty.   many television commentators and guests do the same thing
         For a grand finale is this-- if you change channels to get   sounding like they are still in college? You’re in the company      Columnist and author Bill Gralnick was born and raised
      the show you want you always get a commercial.     of most of America when your reach a rolling boil over how   in Brooklyn, NY. He is writing a three-part humorous memoir.
         Driving: people with pickup trucks that have tow hitches   many customer service reps don’t speak English well enough   The first is “The War of the Itchy Balls and Other Tales from
      always park front in so the hitch can either damage your car   to service customers. Chew on this one: the fire station lights   Brooklyn.” Just published is the sequel, “George Washington
      or your shin or that motorcyclists on the highway drive so   turn red and traffic has to stop even when the engine has   Didn’t Sleep Here.” Both are available on Amazon. You can
      crazily they warrant the signs to watch out for them. Repeat   returned and is in its driveway backing into the firehouse.   find his writing at https://www.williamgralnickauthor.com. 
      after me. Grrrrrrr. Why? Because of how often people go left   How many hours a week are spent deleting emails? For me
      when they put on their right turn signal, or vice versa cutting   it’s about a half hour a day! You try and cut down the number
      you off in the process. In the “if you want to kill yourself that’s   by unsubscribing but the emails you request never to be sent   Hot Topics
      fine but leave me out of it category” are these two. Drivers on   again seem just to keep on comin’.
      the highway will cut across two and even three lanes to get off      Puzzlements: The people who give out visitor passes at
                                                         hospitals and other institutions type with one finger. It seems
      at their intended exit instead of just going up one more exit and   that the birds with the most beautiful songs are unseen because  Group Notice
      turning around and the fear of blowing your horn at someone
      on the highway who just cut you off fearing you might get   they’re always at the top of the tallest trees. People will not
      shot. It’s been raining cats and dogs almost daily. Have you   clean up after their dogs and look you straight in the eye while      We  are  a  women’s  group  who  remember  Reva
      noticed that when you are driving in a blinding rainstorm   not doing it. Here’s one that drives me buggers--over time   Tucker. Hot Topics has resumed meetings every Friday
      some of the car sensors that are supposed to keep you safe stop   one sock disappears from the laundry but rarely does a pair   and are seeking new members. Please join us for lively
      working. Here are two more: the unfamiliarity some drivers   disappear. This comes close: there are invariably too many   discussions at 11:00am to 12:30pm at the Boca Pointe
      seem to have with turn signals because they either put one on   wire hangers in the closet—or not enough, but never the right   Community Office. If you would like more information
      and then turn the other way, forget to turn them off for miles   amount. Are you like me in over-sleeping some mornings   or to sign up, please call 561-715-8298. 
      and miles on the highway, or…just do not use them at all and   because you haven’t remembered that you have an equal

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           Extraordinary 3*/2/1 Penthouse, totally                       La Paz 2/2 $5,000

           renovated with top of the line finishes.                      La Paz 2/2 $5,500
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                          $799,000                                  Montego Bay 3/2 $5,500

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