Page 20 - Boca Club News - September '24

Page 20, Boca Club News

The Arts
The Arts

Book Review…

“The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm:

A Lexicon for Those of Us Who Are Better and Smarter

Than the Rest of You” and “The Ultimate Book of Useless

Information: A Few Thousand More Things You Might

Need to Know (But Probably Don’t)”

By Nils A. Shapiro KOSHER. 1. Food that conforms to Jewish nutritional • Giraffes have no vocal
You have two books for the price laws, which were handed down by God in order that the cords.
of one in this month’s column. And Chosen People would never experience flavor. 2. Also used • 83 percent of people
since you receive this newspaper as a generic term to imply legitimacy. “I know most people hit by lightning are men.
for free the following review is don’t sell stereo equipment out of the back of a panel van, • When female
certainly worth the price. (My feeble but don’t worry, it’s strictly kosher.” elephants have been
attempt at sarcasm.) WAISTLINE. The part of the human body that we get pregnant for more than
These books are perfect the most obsessive about keeping trim, if only to remain twenty months and are
examples of my lifetime obsession desirable enough so activity occurring below it will still still not in labor they will
as a bibliophile. Books have always been my favorite be a viable option. travel a hundred miles
source of information, knowledge and information. Even CONTRACTOR. A person who has the ability to make searching for the leaves
today I seek out titles of interest wherever I shop, from big February turn into May, May into August, August into of the Boraginacae tree—
box supermarkets that stack books on tables to furniture November, and so on. which can also induce
stores that don’t sell books at all. ***** birth in humans.
Readers of this column may remember my review of If spreading your newfound sarcastic wit at parties • Sylvester Stallone
“Wise Trees,” a lavish, oversized photo-filled “coffee- and other occasions hasn’t yet made you the most popular used to sweep the lion
table” volume that was on display in a furniture store— person in your group, it turns out that there is another cages in New York City’s
not for sale but to draw attention to a high-quality sofa strange organization that might help do the trick. In 1995 Central Park Zoo to pay his
grouping. I convinced the owner to sell the book to me a group of “thinkers, writers and artists” in Britain got way while trying to break into acting.
and it is now a prized possession. together to form The Useless Information Society. Today • Although Ohio is listed as the seventeenth state in the
This month’s two books are recent additions I couldn’t they have 30 members–-their names are listed in a front United States, it is technically number 47. Until August
resist because their subject matter is just so much fun! page of this book–-and the Chairman, Noel Botham, is 7th, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit
And since I base my selection of books to review here listed as the author of this book. Ohio to the Union.
largely on what I feel you would enjoy–-and would want The inclusion of the word “Ultimate” in the title of “The • Horses race clockwise in England and counter-
to share with friends and family–-I am bringing both to Ultimate Book of Useless Information” refers to the fact that clockwise in the United States.
your attention here. there was an earlier version, which made it to The New York • For religious reasons Franklin Pierce was the only
“ T h e Of f i c i a l Times bestseller list. That’s easy to understand when you president to say, “I promise” instead of “I swear” at his
Dictionary of Sarcasm” start laughing through the 215 pages that are arranged in 15 inauguration.
is the work of James chapters with such headings as: There’s No Business Like; • Seventy percent of Swedish women claim to have
Napoli, Executive Vice- Words of Wisdom; Food Fight; I Wanna Sex You Up; Seeing participated in a threesome.
President of the National the World; Creativity Corner…and so on—offering more than • “Well, I’ve played everything but a harp.” – Actor
Sarcasm Society. (Yes, 1,500 true facts which, as the author states, prove once again John Barrymore’s last words, on his deathbed.
there really is such a that “knowledge doesn’t have to be useful to be entertaining.” Come on, lighten up. Get both of these books and share
group!) Compact in size Here is a small sampling: them with others. You are going to need them to make it
(6” x 7”), this 370-page • Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite. through the rest of this election year.
well-crafted hardcover • The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
book is surprisingly
heavy—in weight, not
in tone. The author’s
sarcastic humor begins on the front cover with the notation:
Not Approved for Use by Stupid People…and on the back
cover makes his point: “You have been waiting patiently
for a dictionary like this to come along. And now it is
here…Not that you give a crap.”
Of course, the heart of the book is in the more than
350 pages of definitions, almost every one illustrated and 561-989-0611
printed in two colors. Here are just a few examples:
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