Page 6 - Talk of Tequesta - July '24

Page 6, The Talk Of Tequesta

Book review

FUZZ: When Nature Breaks The Law

By Nils A. Shapiro

Author Mary Roach’s macaque snatched him from Gulls are very different from crows, and it is sometimes
books invariably climb his mother’s breast … a necessary to keep them away in certain situations – but
the national bestseller bunch of monkeys stoned in a way that does no harm.
lists. She has earned a 72-year-old to death “If you make a gull sufficiently nervous, it will vomit.
among her vast fan base … eight lethal macaque While unpleasant for biologists who need to handle them,
a reputation as “our most attacks. The monkeys are the habit affords easy insight into what the birds have
consistently entertaining,” literally everywhere, and been eating. Here is a partial list of what a herring gull
and “disturbingly funny the reason is obvious: considers edible – that is, things that have been vomited
j o u r n a l i st ” wi t h a n the Indian religions, in in the general direction of Julie C. Ellis, senior research
“infectious awe for quirky which animals frequently investigator at the University of Pennsylvania: bologna,
science.” represent various gods. ants, strawberry shortcake, a large mackerel, a whole hot
The titles of her earlier For example, the wild boar dog, intact mice, squid, a used sanitary napkin, discarded
books are evidence of that: Gulp: Adventures on the is an avatar of the deity lobster bait, Vienna sausages, an eider duckling, a paper
Alimentary Canal; Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science Vishnu; the monkey is a muffin wrapper, a loaded diaper, ana a plate’s worth of
and Sex; Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War; representative of Hanuman. spaghetti marinara with mussels.”
Spook; Science Tackles the Afterlife; Stiff: The Curious “Deepening the problem: offerings. Tuesdays and When you consider that large flocks of gulls descend
Lives of Human Cadavers and Packing For Mars: The Saturdays, the devotees visit Hanuman temples to make a on St. Peter’s Square when crowds gather to see and
Curious Science of Life in the Void. puja. To the icons inside, they present coconuts and garlands hear the Pope and understand that “droppings” from
Her latest work attracted me because of its subject of marigolds; to the living representatives hanging around above are not blessings from heaven, it is clear why the
matter: a round-the-world investigation into the wildly outside, samosas and Frooti mango pop. Feeding wild Vatican has hired a Dutchman, Andre Fritjers – who owns
diverse – but ultimately fascinating – ways in which we animals, as we know, is the quickest path to conflict. The the company Vogelverschrikker (Dutch for scarecrow)
humans attempt to solve the problems we face when the promise of food motivates normally human-shy animals to – to demonstrate his LaserOp Automatic 200, “a sort
world’s other creatures and natural forces either don’t take a risk. The risk-taking is rewarded, and the behavior of monochrome laser light show. Lasers are silent,
understand the rules we have set … or seemingly refuse escalates. Shyness becomes fearlessness, and fearlessness seemingly humane, and they can usually be counted on
to follow them. becomes aggression. If you don’t hand over the food you’re to unnerve gulls for at least a week … mainly used to
As the author travels the globe in search of each area’s carrying, the monkey will grab it. If you try to hold onto it, dissuade cormorants, gulls, and vultures from roosting
problems – working closely with wildlife scientists, or push the animal away, it may slap you. Or bite you. The on structures where someone doesn’t want them – and
researchers and other experts whose insightful findings Times of India put the number of monkey bites reported by their droppings – to gather.”
she passes along to us – she describes local efforts to Delhi hospitals in 2018 at 950.” Black bears in Aspen, Colo., who take advantage of
solve their dilemmas. It is here, in situations that local So far, the Delhi government’s efforts to control the residents’ ignoring rules to keep trash cans shut tight …
communities often consider even dire, that Roach’s sense situation with injectable or oral contraceptives have elephants whose centuries-old pathways in India’s forests
of humor shines through on so many of these pages. failed, in part because of the unusual sex drive of the are being surrounded and blocked by construction, yet are
Here is just one example – true historical record male macaque monkeys that the author discusses in her being blamed and punished for “trespassing onto humans’
described on the very first page of this book’s Introduction: typical (and quite hilarious) droll manner. property” … a page of “poop” illustrating four different
“On June 26, 1659, a representative from five towns Another example of man vs. nature problems is one kinds of scat that accompanies a chapter on how to track
in a province of northern Italy initiated legal proceedings much closer to home: the efforts in Texas, Arkansas and bobcat, ocelot, jaguar and mountain lion by identifying
against caterpillars. The local specimens, went the elsewhere to literally bomb crows – “black bandits of their droppings as part of a program to protect these
complaint, were trespassing and pilfering from people’s the air” and “feathered gangsters” they were called – and animals by keeping them apart from human populations
gardens and orchards. A summons was issued and five other birds out of the skies from airplanes with sticks of … these as well as others are among the many odd and
copies made and nailed to trees in forests adjacent to each dynamite! During one winter alone 250,000 crows were fascinating issues faced in this book’s pages.
town. The caterpillars were ordered to appear in court on killed in Illinois. And not all are about animals. The author devotes
the twenty-eight of June, at a specified hour, where they Their crime? Doing what crows do naturally in order one chapter to dangerous trees, and another to poisonous
would be assigned legal representation. to survive: They were raiding the nests of waterfowl, plants … both species which we now know through
“Of course, no caterpillars appeared at the appointed devouring eggs and chicks to the extent that duck hunters scientific evidence to have intelligence and able to wreak
time, but the case went forward anyway. In a surviving would not have enough of them to shoot! havoc on humans despite our “laws.”
document, the court recognizes the rights of caterpillars Here is one with a gentler touch befitting the locale – Learn and laugh. And join me in the Mary Roach fan club.
to live freely and happily, provided this does not ‘impair Vatican City:
the happiness of man…’ The judge decreed that the
caterpillars be assigned a plot of land for their sustenance
and enjoyment. By the time the details were worked out,
the defendants, having pupated (to butterflies), were
surely through with their devastations, and all parties
left the proceedings satisfied.”
Not all human-animal problem encounters are settled so
easily, however. As we soon learn in the book’s 15 chapters,
some of them can present real predicaments. Take the case
that the author describes in the chapter she titles “THE
MONKEY FIX: Birth Control for Marauding Macaques.”
Roach travels to study the situation and meets with
officials at the Wildlife Institute of India. Newspapers
scream such stories as a baby fatally wounded after a rhesus

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