Page 15 - Boca ViewPointe - November '23

November 2023 Viewpointe, Page 15
Refusing To Be Bullied By Old Age

By Robert W. Goldfarb These encounters evoke the same unease I felt when seat, this unexpected someone slammed the bully’s nose with
bullies demanded to know why I was passing through their the back of his clenched fist.
I thought I’d seen the last of bullies when I was in the neighborhood. I’ve become the same outsider in a world I awaited his punch to my face, but instead found myself
eighth grade. But at 93, I’m encountering an unexpected more welcoming to the young that I was in that long-ago wondering which was brighter, the blood streaming from his
bully, ageism. Older friends and I share instances of sales neighborhood. If so, I hope a lesson I learned 80 years ago nose or the gleam of astonishment in his eyes. Courage I
people brushing by us to serve younger shoppers, of our will help me meet the challenge of this unanticipated bully. never felt before kept me from turning away. I stared silently
opinions being dismissed as outdated, of technical advances The biggest boy in our class was enduring school until at him as though my eyes were telling him I would retaliate if
that offer little accommodation to older users, of tighter the day he was old enough to drop out and find a job. Most he struck me again. I was certain he would pull me from my
seals on cans, bottles and plastic containers that make them of us sat in an assigned seat; he drifted from desk to desk, seat and beat me to the floor. He did nothing, just sat there,
harder to open, of finding it more difficult to make a doctor’s pushing aside its occupant. He always had with him a thick trying without a handkerchief to stop the bleeding. It was at
appointment only to find the doctor hurries through an older rubber band that he would snap against the ear of the student this moment I realized bullies are hollow inside and avoid
patient’s list of ailments. unlucky enough to be seated in front of him. The victim’s those who fight back. Word spread through the school and
A moment in a gym made clear the man I thought I was shriek would upset us, but not the teacher who seemed to bullies kept their distance from me. It is only now, a lifetime
and the man younger people see are two very different people. regard the bully’s behavior as something adolescent boys do. later, that I feel another bully is stalking me.
I recently enrolled in a group fitness program at my local gym. I didn’t have to be told my ear would eventually be his I hope the lesson I learned in that classroom will tell
The trainer, a young woman, asked our names and quickly said target. He was older than I, stronger, tougher and could easily me how to battle this presence that so casually diminishes
“Everyone, let’s begin with 20 push ups; Mr. Goldfarb, you knock me down. I assumed I would react as my classmates the elderly. Something within the boy overcame his fears.
can do ten.” I regularly do 50 push ups, but that didn’t matter. had, crying out but doing nothing. Of course, the eventual Hopefully, that moment and what it taught me has lain
What mattered was the quick glance that told the trainer I was happened. His rubber band snapped at my ear. Suddenly, I dormant within me. Ageism might not carry a bully’s menace,
old and less was to be expected of me. became someone I didn’t recognize. Spinning around in my but has weapons that inflict their own brand of pain. I no
longer ask myself if it’s ageism or aging itself that is the
bully. I’m convinced it’s ageism, the stiletto-sharp hints that
Community Association Meetings Monthly Schedule the elderly should step aside so the young can pass them by.
Like the bully I confronted so long ago, ageism can be

(All meetings held via Zoom and in person.) confronted if one is basically healthy and hasn’t surrendered
their self-esteem. I take the medical advice studies offered
the elderly. I follow a Mediterranean Diet, remain active
physically and mentally, maintain relationships, stay in close
All meetings will be held electronically via Zoom and in person. The following is our regular schedule of contact with family and volunteer in several community
monthly meetings, however, sometimes meetings are cancelled or schedules are revised due to holidays, etc. If activities. But as important--perhaps even more important--is
you would like to attend, please call the BPCA office, (561) 395-7551, the day before the meeting to request the the message I send others by the way I carry myself.
Zoom link be emailed to you. I fight my tendency to slouch. I don’t walk to the dirge of
an old man’s music, but with pride in the man I have become.
Access Control & Safety Committee TBD I stand tall, looking directly at the person I’m speaking to,
bearing myself as someone who respects others and expects
Architectural Control Site Committee TBD that same respect in return. Yes, I’m old, but intend to carry
myself with assurance and courage through these final years.
Board of Directors 3rd Tuesday of each month at 9:30 a.m.
Bob’s articles have appeared in The New York Times,
Budget & Finance Committee TBD The San Francisco Chronicle and in Next Avenue, the
publication of the Public Broadcasting Service. His book,
Landscape Committee TBD “What’s Stopping Me From Getting Ahead?” was published
by McGraw Hill and is in five languages. 

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