Page 5 - Boca ViewPointe - August '23

August 2023 Viewpointe, Page 5
Have You Noticed

—Observations On The Oddities Around Us

By William A. Gralnick how close to your car are the cement posts holding keypads chance of hitting the off button on the alarm clock as you do
at car washes, storage lockers, and such thus greatly raising the snooze button?
An editor friend once the possibility of your scraping paint off the side of your car. Aging: When someone asks you how you feel, they don’t
said to me, “If you have eyes Elevators: We spend a lot of time in them, mostly going really want the answer but the older you get when someone
and ears, you’ll always have to the doctor. How many times do you press the black hard asks you how you feel, the more you want to tell them—from
something to write about.” numeral button instead of the one next to it that makes the your top to bottom. How is it possible for so many things so far
Here are some examples. elevator move? How many times do you press “G” instead of apart on your body to hurt all at the same time? That bending
Television: Television commercials are demeaningly “L” because where you came from “G” meant ground floor over is a lot easier than getting back to the upright position.
dumb and auto insurance commercials are the dumbest. not garage? Ever notice that your doctors are never on the You’ve transitioned from writing yourself notes to forgetting
Commercials that have animals talking like people and being same floor, so you not only have to remember where they are what the notes mean when of course you can find them. Fifty
displayed in people poses are maybe dumber than the insurance but what floor they are on. ‘bet you are guilty of this. I know mph now seems plenty fast enough even though no one else
commercials. This one drives me nuts: the hard-fought-for I am-- people repeatedly push the elevator call button even on the highway agrees with you. Don’t you wish that all your
law that was passed making it illegal for commercials to be though everyone knows once is all that is necessary. doctor’s offices had the same prompts so that 1 or 5 meant the
louder than the show is never enforced. And I’ll bet you didn’t General Annoyances: when you’ve just had the car washed same thing and thus spared you from having to listen to “our
know there was a hard-fought-for law that mandated that the the street sprinklers are on and how often street sprinklers menu of options has changed” messages?
soundtracks on commercials could not be louder than the water cement rather than grass. Emails are like roaches, Having experienced all of the above, I’ll close by saying
shows they are on. Try this. Look closely and you’ll see that they are with us forever. Then there are the teens answering let humor get you through.
the coffee and soda drinks actors carry that are supposed to a question saying mean “Yeah/No/I” all in a row and how That’s all folks—at least for now.
make you think they’re full don’t because they are empty. many television commentators and guests do the same thing
For a grand finale is this-- if you change channels to get sounding like they are still in college? You’re in the company Columnist and author Bill Gralnick was born and raised
the show you want you always get a commercial. of most of America when your reach a rolling boil over how in Brooklyn, NY. He is writing a three-part humorous memoir.
Driving: people with pickup trucks that have tow hitches many customer service reps don’t speak English well enough The first is “The War of the Itchy Balls and Other Tales from
always park front in so the hitch can either damage your car to service customers. Chew on this one: the fire station lights Brooklyn.” Just published is the sequel, “George Washington
or your shin or that motorcyclists on the highway drive so turn red and traffic has to stop even when the engine has Didn’t Sleep Here.” Both are available on Amazon. You can
crazily they warrant the signs to watch out for them. Repeat returned and is in its driveway backing into the firehouse. find his writing at https://www.williamgralnickauthor.com. 
after me. Grrrrrrr. Why? Because of how often people go left How many hours a week are spent deleting emails? For me
when they put on their right turn signal, or vice versa cutting it’s about a half hour a day! You try and cut down the number
you off in the process. In the “if you want to kill yourself that’s by unsubscribing but the emails you request never to be sent Hot Topics
fine but leave me out of it category” are these two. Drivers on again seem just to keep on comin’.
the highway will cut across two and even three lanes to get off Puzzlements: The people who give out visitor passes at
hospitals and other institutions type with one finger. It seems
at their intended exit instead of just going up one more exit and that the birds with the most beautiful songs are unseen because Group Notice
turning around and the fear of blowing your horn at someone
on the highway who just cut you off fearing you might get they’re always at the top of the tallest trees. People will not
shot. It’s been raining cats and dogs almost daily. Have you clean up after their dogs and look you straight in the eye while We are a women’s group who remember Reva
noticed that when you are driving in a blinding rainstorm not doing it. Here’s one that drives me buggers--over time Tucker. Hot Topics has resumed meetings every Friday
some of the car sensors that are supposed to keep you safe stop one sock disappears from the laundry but rarely does a pair and are seeking new members. Please join us for lively
working. Here are two more: the unfamiliarity some drivers disappear. This comes close: there are invariably too many discussions at 11:00am to 12:30pm at the Boca Pointe
seem to have with turn signals because they either put one on wire hangers in the closet—or not enough, but never the right Community Office. If you would like more information
and then turn the other way, forget to turn them off for miles amount. Are you like me in over-sleeping some mornings or to sign up, please call 561-715-8298. 
and miles on the highway, or…just do not use them at all and because you haven’t remembered that you have an equal

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