Page 14 - Stuart Exposure - February '21
P. 14

Page 14, Stuart Exposure

                                                          Book review




      Hits & Misses                                       reaction to Spoiled                                ...” After all, they average only about five or six pages each.
                                                                                                             I kept telling myself “just one more story ... just one more
                                                           As for my
      By Nils A. Shapiro                                Brats, the book I                                  But, like eating potato chips, I couldn’t stop until there were
         I  should  make  this  an                      reviewed a year                                    no more left. Here are several examples to explain why:
      annual treat!                                     ago, I laughed out                                    Riding High: The Oatsy Story is told by a horse who has
         Exactly one year                               loud from first                                    a legitimate complaint. He describes how one night he spent
      ago, in February 2020, I                          page to last at the                                hours running all around town, even through brambles, no
      reviewed a collection of                          wildest extremes                                   matter how tired, while his friend Paul on top of him, was
      short stories, Spoiled Brats,                     of comedic                                         scared and kept screaming his head off. And now, he is in
      by Simon Rich, an author                          imagination I had                                  a cage in a glue factory and nobody cares about him, and
      among whose credits are                           ever encountered                                   his friend, Paul – you know him, Paul Revere – is famous.
      having  been  a  writer  for                      in any creative                                    It isn’t fair.
      TV’s  Saturday Night Live                         form. One of the                                      Menlo Park, 1891. Thomas Edison’s laboratory was
      and  The Simpsons. He is                          13 stories in that                                 located in Menlo Park, N.J. In 1891, he invented the
      a frequent contributor to The New Yorker magazine, has   book, Sellout –                             kinetograph, the first “motion picture camera” which he
      created several TV series, and now has seven published   although, at 78                             knew would change the world and make him famous. He
      books to his credit.                              pages in length,                                   hires a boy, hands him two oblong wooden clubs, tells him
         England’s Guardian newspaper calls Simon Rich “the   I described it                               to just swing the clubs over his head, films that activity
      funniest man in America,” and he has also been described   then as almost a                          for a few minutes with his new invention and sarcastically
      as “the Stephen King of comedy writing.” Conan O’Brien   novella – I found especially hilarious and impressive. It   titles the film Newark Athlete. Then Edison invites the press,
      has simply stated, “My admiration for Rich is rivaled only   tells of an immigrant Jew who arrives in America from   screens the film and anticipates their excited reaction and
      by my jealousy.”                                  Europe, gets a job in a Brooklyn pickle factory, marries   questions. When the reporters notice the boy, they rush to
                                                        a girl who becomes pregnant, and one day he falls into a   him – not Edison – and ask what it feels like to be an actor,
           reAl estAte                                  large vat of brine, the lid closes above him, and he is not   what advice he has for youngsters seeking an acting career,
                                                        discovered – perfectly preserved – until 100 years later!
                                                                                                           inquire about his girlfriends, and so on. Simon Rich lives
                                                        What happens to him then becomes the author’s satirical   in Los Angeles, and knows full well the irony of celebrity
      Treasure Coast                                    commentary on our “millennial” generation’s foibles and   worship – actors over all others, including in this fictional
                                                                                                           case the inventor!
                                                        lifestyle trends.
                                                           That story has just been made into a film, An American
      Real Estate Report                                  Pickle, starring Seth Rogen in dual roles as both the     Dinosaur is about a real dinosaur. You know, the really
                                                                                                           big, green kind with a scaly back, yellow eyes and sharp
                                                        immigrant Jew and the century-later descendant of his   razor teeth. Except this one works as a writer for a TV
      Sellers And Buyers Beware. The Mortgage           wife who was pregnant at the time of his disappearance.  show, and the rest of the staff, humans one-twentieth his
      Application Process Can Turn Into A                  Rich’s newest collection, Hits & Misses, contains 19   size, are really way – and I mean waaaaaaaay younger.
      Nightmare And Kill Your Deal                      stories. Published in 2018, it is every bit as much fun.   The problem is that the others keep using words like
                                                        And, just as with the others, you can open it to almost   “woke,” and other terms that he hasn’t caught onto, and he
      By Jim Weix                                       any page – at the beginning of any story – and find a hit;   is embarrassed to admit it, so he has to keep looking them
         If you pay your bills                          there are virtually no misses here. In my case, I had an   up. It’s a “generation gap” thing, but when robots enter the
      on time and want to get a                         hour or so before dinner New Year’s Eve and decided to   picture it all works out at the end, thanks to Simon Rich’s
      mortgage, you may not worry                       start reading the first story. In two sittings, by the end of   inexhaustible imagination.
      about what is on your credit                      New Year’s Day, I had turned the last of the book’s 230      There are 16 more like these. Go along for the ride. You
      report. What can go wrong?                        pages ... captivated again by the almost inconceivable   will love it. And when somebody makes a movie out of one
      Unfortunately, plenty.                            imagination capable of springing from one man’s mind!  of these stories, you will have read the book first!
         A REALTOR recently
      submitted an offer on one
      of my listings. Along with
      the offer to purchase, a loan
      pre-approval was submitted.                                                                                   Return to
      My seller and I had actually met the buyer, so the seller was
      comfortable with her and accepted her offer.
         Although my seller had been casually looking for
      another home, he quickly became serious. Fortunately, I                                                                Love
      had previously found a home for him that he liked. We
      quickly submitted an offer to purchase, along with a loan
      pre-approval. It was accepted.                                                                                        Offline
         Both parties quickly completed their mortgage
      applications and had their property home inspections.
      Everything was moving along fine.  The lenders are
      extremely busy right now, so everybody sat back.
         Then the buyer’s agent for my seller’s property called                                                            with help from the pros!
      and explained that there was an error on the buyer’s credit
      report. The buyer was working on getting it corrected. My
      seller wasn’t happy, as he didn’t think a credit bureau could
      be wrong.
         Then his lender contacted him about a credit card that his
      ex-wife had, which had a high balance. Since they had been
      divorced for over four years, he couldn’t understand it.
         Long story short, both credit bureaus were wrong and
      after some effort the errors were corrected. However, both                                                            NOT Online Dating
      closings were delayed and everyone was rushing around                                                                 Private and Con dential
      getting things corrected.                                                                                             Zoom By Request
         Credit bureau reports are only as good as the information                                                          90% Success Rate
      given to them by creditors. Unfortunately, much of this                                                               All Clients Pre-Screened
      information comes from people overseas. As both the buyer                                                             One-on-One Matchmaking
      and seller found out, the people that they talked to at the                                                           Representing Ages 21-80+
      credit card companies sound just like the people checking
      on your extended car warranty.
         The best way to avoid problems is to check your credit
      bureau reports annually for errors. You are entitled to a
      free report each year from all three of the credit bureaus.                      Kelly Leary, M.S.



      This should definitely be done if you are going to try to                      THE Florida Matchmaker
      buy a home.
         Here is how to get yours:
      Equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services, (800)
      685-1111                                                             SPEAK TO A LIVE MATCHMAKER AT:              *Schedule Your
      Experian.com/help, 888-EXPERIAN, (888) 397-3742                                                                   Appointment
      TransUnion.com/credit-help, (888) 909-8872                        561.630.XOXO                         (9696    )      NOW!
         Jim Weix is a broker associate with The Keyes Company.
      Jim has 24 years of experience selling real estate full time.
      If you have questions or want the services of an experienced   REVOLUTIONDATING.COM
      expert, you can reach Jim at (772) 341-2941 or jimweix@
      jimweix.com.
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