Page 3 - The Jewish Voice - February '25

The Jewish Voice, Page 3

From the rabbi

Comparing Yourself to Others Menashe and Efraim, that they should be the role models relationships in the book of Genesis were catastrophic,
for Jewish children until the era of Moshiach. Hence I, like except for Menashe and Efraim:
By Rabbi Dovid Vigler countless Jews across the world, bless my children each When G-d favored Abel over the older Cain, Cain
It’s really important to Friday night: “May you be like Ephraim and Menashe.” murdered Abel. Ishmael and Isaac were sons of Abraham,
visualize your dreams. If you It’s unclear though, why these two siblings were chosen yet Ishmael tried to kill Isaac, to the point that Ishmael
don’t know where you’re by Jacob to be the models for all Jewry. Why not far more needed to be evicted from his home. Jacob stole the
going, then how on Earth can illustrious pairs like Moses and Aharon, King David and blessings of his brother Esau, resulting in Esau’s plan to
you get there? Jonathan, or even Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? After all, we murder Jacob for many years. Joseph was hated by his
Vision-boarding is an know precious little about Menashe and Efraim and how they brothers, who tried to kill him. Ultimately, they chose to sell
emerging trend in which lived their lives in Egypt as the sons of Joseph. All we know him into slavery instead. But when it came to Menashe and
people paste a collage about these two is that when their Zeidy Jacob prepared to Efraim, we find no such dysfunction. When Jacob chooses
of images and words bless them, he switched his hands, placing his dominant right to give the dominant blessing to the younger Efraim, we
representing their wishes or hand over the younger brother, Efraim, and the recessive left find no fallout nor hard feelings from the older Menashe,
goals, intended to inspire hand over the head of the elder, Menashe. who was clearly slighted. It’s a breath of fresh air to see
or motivate them to fulfill their dreams. Yet this is nothing I discovered a fascinating insight from one of the these two live in harmony with each other, celebrating each
new, since Jews have been blessing their children for over great hasidic masters of Galicia, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech other’s success instead of resenting it.
3547 years, to emulate two brothers from the recent Torah Schapiro of Dinov (1783-1841), known for his famous In Yiddish, there is a word for not resenting the success
portion. Jacob (Genesis 48:20) blessed his two grandchildren, work the “Bnei Yissasschar.” He explains that all sibling of another — to fargin. It’s been said that you shouldn’t
share your problems with others because 80 percent don’t
care, and the other 20 percent are glad you have them! To
be able to fargin someone else’s success is to be able to
truly be happy in their joy and to celebrate their successes.
Not many people are capable of this feat.
This is why Menashe and Efraim are the role models
for all future generations. They understood that what they
didn’t have, they simply didn’t need. What didn’t belong
to them was not part of their mission. It was clear to each
of them that having what the other one had wasn’t going
to make him happier.
Bill Gates cautioned: “Don’t compare yourself with
anyone else in this world. If you do so, you are insulting
yourself.” Don’t compare yourself to others — you have no
idea what their journey is all about — your journey is unique
and your path to success will be different to someone else’s.
Jewish mysticism teaches us that before our souls
descended to this world, we understood our mission and
we chose which family we’d be born into. We were then
given exactly the tools — talents, skills, and smarts — that
we’d need to succeed on that mission. What I have is what
I need and what I don’t have I simply don’t need! Focus
only on what G-d has given you — as the necessary tools
for your mission.
This is quite possibly the secret to happiness:
comparison is the thief of joy. I can’t do someone else’s job
and he can’t do mine. Losing sight of this leads to endless
aggravation, squandering precious energy on something
you cannot reach or have, in addition to neglecting your
own mission. The key to success is to stay in your lane
as you always remember that you are on a divine mission
— granted only the tools that you need to succeed in your
particular assignment. It would be useless to gift a cobbler
with the tools of a blacksmith.
The Previous Chabad Rebbe — Rabbi Yosef Y.
Schneerson — used the following true story that happened
in the days of the Alter Rebbe to illustrate how each person
has a unique mission in life, and they must recognize it to
avoid fulfilling someone else’s.
One Friday afternoon, a wealthy businessman and his
wagon driver returned home from a long trip just before
Shabbos. The businessman, eager to prepare for the day,
went to the bathhouse and donned his Shabbos clothes,
heading straight to the synagogue.
On his way, he encountered a wagon stuck in the mud.
Following the commandment to help others, he immediately
tried to assist, but being that he wasn’t skilled in this art he
quickly got covered in mud and injured himself. He arrived
at shul dirty and limping.
Meanwhile, the wagon driver, who had also bathed,
arrived early at the shul and began inviting guests for the
Shabbos meal. He invited ten strangers, ensuring no one
was left without a place. When the time came to distribute
guests among the hosts, the wealthy businessman had no
one to invite, while the poor driver had a full table.
Years later, after both men passed away, the Heavenly
court decided that they needed to return to Earth to rectify their
missed opportunities. The former wagon driver was sent to
fulfill the mitzvah of helping others, which he had overlooked,
while the businessman was tasked with perfecting the mitzvah
of hosting guests, which he had missed.
You are only a poor person if you are not happy with
what you have. You can be happy with what you have and
still work for what you want. If you can do what you do
best and be happy, then you’re further ahead in life than
most people. Winners focus on winning; losers focus on
winners.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side — it’s greener
where you water it. And if it looks greener, it’s probably
artificial turf.
Rabbi Dovid Vigler is the spiritual leader at Chabad
of Palm Beach Gardens and host of the Jewish Schmooze
Radio Show. Email him at rabbi@jewishgardens.com.