Page 15 - Stuart Exposure - September '24

Stuart Exposure, Page 15

Book revIew

The Official Dictionary Of largely on what I feel you I f spr e a d i n g y o u r
Sarcasm: A Lexicon For Those would enjoy – and would newfound sarcastic wit at
want to share with friends
parties and other occasions
Of Us Who Are Better And and family – I am bringing hasn’t yet made you the
both to your attention here.
most popular person in
Smarter Than The Rest Of You of Sarcasm is the work of your group, it turns out
The Official Dictionary
that there is another strange
And The Ultimate Book Of James Napoli, executive organization that might
Useless Information: A Few vice president of the help do the trick. In 1995 a
National Sarcasm Society.
group of “thinkers, writers
Thousand More Things You (Yes, there really is such and artists” in Britain got
a group!) Compact in size
together to form The Useless
Might Need To Know (6” x 7”), this 370-page well-crafted hardcover book is Information Society. Today
surprisingly heavy – in weight, not in tone. The author’s
they have 30 members –
(But Probably Don’t) sarcastic humor begins on the front cover with the their names are listed in
notation: “Not Approved for Use by Stupid People” … a front page of this book
By Nils A. Shapiro and on the back cover makes his point: “You have been – and the Chairman, Noel
You have two books waiting patiently for a dictionary like this to come along. Botham, is listed as the author of this book.
for the price of one in this And now it is here … Not that you give a crap.” The inclusion of the word “Ultimate” in the title of The
month’s column. And since Of course, the heart of the book is in the more than Ultimate Book of Useless Information refers to the fact
you receive this newspaper 350 pages of definitions, almost every one illustrated and that there was an earlier version, which made it to The
for free the following printed in two colors. Here are just a few examples: New York Times bestseller list. That’s easy to understand
review is certainly worth Power Lunch: A strategic session of manipulation and when you start laughing through the 215 pages that are
the price. (My feeble preparation for eventual backstabbing arranged around a arranged in 15 chapters with such headings as: There’s No
attempt at sarcasm.) pleasant noontime meal. Business Like; Words of Wisdom; Food Fight; I Wanna
These books are perfect Hard Working: Conscientious behavior of the kind Sex You Up; Seeing the World; Creativity Corner … and
examples of my lifetime usually exhibited by a sap who doesn’t understand that so on – offering more than 1,500 true facts which, as the
obsession as a bibliophile. no one is going to thank him for it. author states, prove once again that “knowledge doesn’t
Books have always been my favorite source of information, Kosher: 1. Food that conforms to Jewish nutritional have to be useful to be entertaining.”
knowledge and information. Even today I seek out titles laws, which were handed down by God in order that the Here is a small sampling:
of interest wherever I shop, from big box supermarkets Chosen People would never experience flavor. 2. Also • Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
that stack books on tables to furniture stores that don’t used as a generic term to imply legitimacy. “I know most • The average person spends two weeks of their life
sell books at all. people don’t sell stereo equipment out of the back of a kissing.
Readers of this column may remember my review of panel van, but don’t worry, it’s strictly kosher.” • Giraffes have no vocal cords.
Wise Trees, a lavish, oversized photo-filled “coffee-table” Waistline: The part of the human body that we get • 83 percent of people hit by lightning are men.
volume that was on display in a furniture store – not for the most obsessive about keeping trim, if only to remain • When female elephants have been pregnant for more
sale but to draw attention to a high-quality sofa grouping. desirable enough so activity occurring below it will still than 20 months and are still not in labor they will travel a
I convinced the owner to sell the book to me and it is now be a viable option. hundred miles searching for the leaves of the Boraginacae
a prized possession. Contractor: A person who has the ability to make tree – which can also induce birth in humans.
This month’s two books are recent additions I couldn’t February turn into May, May into August, August into • Sylvester Stallone used to sweep the lion cages in
resist because their subject matter is just so much fun! November, and so on. New York City’s Central Park Zoo to pay his way while
And since I base my selection of books to review here ***** trying to break into acting.
• Although Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the United
States, it is technically number 47. Until Aug. 7, 1953,
Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to
the Union.
• Horses race clockwise in England and counterclockwise
in the United States.
• For religious reasons Franklin Pierce was the only
president to say, “I promise” instead of “I swear” at his
inauguration.
• Seventy percent of Swedish women claim to have
participated in a threesome.
• “Well, I’ve played everything but a harp.” – Actor
John Barrymore’s last words, on his deathbed.
Come on, lighten up. Get both of these books and share
them with others. You are going to need them to make it
through the rest of this election year.