Page 6 - Hobe Sound Reflections - September '24

Page 6, Hobe Sound

Book Review

The Official Dictionary Of there was an earlier version, Here is a small sampling:
Sarcasm: A Lexicon For Those which made it to The New York • Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
• The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
Times bestseller list. That’s
Of Us Who Are Better And easy to understand when you • Giraffes have no vocal cords.
• 83 percent of people hit by lightning are men.
start laughing through the 215
Smarter Than The Rest Of You pages that are arranged in 15 20 months and are still not in labor they will travel a hundred
• When female elephants have been pregnant for more than
chapters with such headings
And The Ultimate Book Of as: There’s No Business Like; miles searching for the leaves of the Boraginacae tree – which
Useless Information: A Few Words of Wisdom; Food Fight; can also induce birth in humans.
• Sylvester Stallone used to sweep the lion cages in New
I Wanna Sex You Up; Seeing

Thousand More Things You the World; Creativity Corner York City’s Central Park Zoo to pay his way while trying to
break into acting.
… and so on – offering more
Might Need To Know than 1,500 true facts which, it is technically number 47. Until Aug. 7, 1953, Congress forgot
• Although Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the United States,
as the author states, prove
(But Probably Don’t) once again that “knowledge to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.
doesn’t have to be useful to be
By Nils A. Shapiro entertaining.” Book Review on page 7
You have two books
for the price of one in this
month’s column. And since
you receive this newspaper for Are You Ready Hurricane?
free the following review is
certainly worth the price. (My
feeble attempt at sarcasm.) For The Next Storm?
These books are perfect
examples of my lifetime
obsession as a bibliophile. No Air Conditioning?
Books have always been my No Refrigeration?
favorite source of information, knowledge and information.
Even today I seek out titles of interest wherever I shop, from
big box supermarkets that stack books on tables to furniture FREE 10% OFF
stores that don’t sell books at all. 7 Year Warranty
Readers of this column may remember my review of Wise on Select Air Cooled Of A Service Call*
Trees, a lavish, oversized photo-filled “coffee-table” volume Standby Generators*
that was on display in a furniture store – not for sale but to $ 350 $ 1,000
draw attention to a high-quality sofa grouping. I convinced the
owner to sell the book to me and it is now a prized possession. One-Time OFF
This month’s two books are recent additions I couldn’t resist Maintenance* Install*
because their subject matter is just so much fun! And since I *Must show coupons. Call for details.
base my selection of books to review here largely on what I
feel you would enjoy – and would want to share with friends 561.774.7714
and family – I am bringing both to your attention here.
The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm is the work of James 2271 Palm Beach Lakes Blvd.
Napoli, executive vice president of the National Sarcasm Society. West Palm Beach, FL 33409
(Yes, there really is such a group!) Compact in size (6” x 7”),
this 370-page well-crafted
hardcover book is surprisingly
heavy – in weight, not in tone.
The author’s sarcastic humor GeneratorSupercenterofThePalmBeaches.com
begins on the front cover with
the notation: “Not Approved Licensed Electrical Contractor #EC 13010145
for Use by Stupid People” *Terms and Conditions: Offer only valid on purchases until 06/03/24, and when the Generac home standby generator is purchased directly from Generator Supercenter of
the Palm Beaches. Refurbished products are excluded from this promotion. This promotion is valid for all air cooled home standby generators in stock. Call for availability.
… and on the back cover Generator must be installed and activated in order for the warranty to be applied. Generator Supercenter of the Palm Beaches reserves the right to rescind or change this
makes his point: “You have offer at any time. For questions related to eligibility, please call Generator Supercenter of the Palm Beaches.
been waiting patiently for a
dictionary like this to come
along. And now it is here …
Not that you give a crap.”
Of course, the heart of the book is in the more than 350
pages of definitions, almost every one illustrated and printed
in two colors. Here are just a few examples:
Power Lunch: A strategic session of manipulation and
preparation for eventual backstabbing arranged around a
pleasant noontime meal.
Hard Working: Conscientious behavior of the kind
usually exhibited by a sap who doesn’t understand that
no one is going to thank him for it.
Kosher: 1. Food that conforms to Jewish nutritional
laws, which were handed down by God in order that the
Chosen People would never experience flavor. 2. Also
used as a generic term to imply legitimacy. “I know most
people don’t sell stereo equipment out of the back of a
panel van, but don’t worry, it’s strictly kosher.”
Waistline: The part of the human body that we get
the most obsessive about keeping trim, if only to remain
desirable enough so activity occurring below it will still
be a viable option.
Contractor: A person who has the ability to make
February turn into May, May into August, August into
November, and so on.
*****
If spreading your newfound sarcastic wit at parties and other
occasions hasn’t yet made you the most popular person in your
group, it turns out that there is another strange organization
that might help do the trick. In 1995 a group of “thinkers,
writers and artists” in Britain got together to form The Useless
Information Society. Today they have 30 members – their
names are listed in a front page of this book – and the Chairman,
Noel Botham, is listed as the author of this book.
The inclusion of the word “Ultimate” in the title of The
Ultimate Book of Useless Information refers to the fact that